We took Scarlett to her first concert tonight. She danced and rolled a lot. It was a LOUD show. But thankfully pretty calm over all. We had such a great time but at the end of it I could barely shuffle my poor feet out of there. I am pretty much insane for standing at a concert in my third trimester but it was worth it. We went with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and everyone was so happy and relaxed. I’m glad we did it even though I had to take an epsom salt bath when we got home. It basically erased all the soreness. I love that stuff.
No nap = cuckoo brain
I have finally finished the baby registry for Scarlett. It took me hours, literally. And then at the very end I realized there was an option for a cash fund which, essentially, is all we really need because the main items we really need are expensive and too much for one person to get anyway so…that was kind of a waste of time except for the fact that I can remember the extra things I wanted now.
I’m having to get used to heartburn which is completely new to me as of this pregnancy. I’ve found that lemonade is off the table. It gives me the worst heartburn even with tums all night. Bummer because it’s one of my favorite things to drink. But I’ll even get it for seemingly no reason.
I tried so hard to eat healthy today. I grabbed a banana instead of a cookie and I had steamed veggies for lunch because I wanted them and then 45 minutes later I was craving carbs and junk food. And so I then ate a bunch of Welch’s gummies and tortilla chips and a spoonful of peanut butter. It is impossible to eat responsibly when you have my self control.
Last night when I was about to get in bed I heard Sophie start screaming so I went in and rocked her and she calmed down and went to sleep and this morning justin said he had to get her two more times at 2 and 3 am for the same thing. He said she was hyperventilating. I wish I knew what the problem was…
Many parents believe it’s important to compliment the behavior, not the child — that way, the child learns to repeat the behavior. Indeed, I know one couple who are careful to say, “That was such a helpful thing to do,” instead of, “You’re a helpful person.”
But is that the right approach? In a clever experiment, the researchers Joan E. Grusec and Erica Redler set out to investigate what happens when we commend generous behavior versus generous character. After 7- and 8-year-olds won marbles and donated some to poor children, the experimenter remarked, “Gee, you shared quite a bit.”
The researchers randomly assigned the children to receive different types of praise. For some of the children, they praised the action: “It was good that you gave some of your marbles to those poor children. Yes, that was a nice and helpful thing to do.” For others, they praised the character behind the action: “I guess you’re the kind of person who likes to help others whenever you can. Yes, you are a very nice and helpful person.”
A couple of weeks later, when faced with more opportunities to give and share, the children were much more generous after their character had been praised than after their actions had been. Praising their character helped them internalize it as part of their identities. The children learned who they were from observing their own actions: I am a helpful person. This dovetails with new research led by the psychologist Christopher J. Bryan, who finds that for moral behaviors, nouns work better than verbs. To get 3- to 6-year-olds to help with a task, rather than inviting them “to help,” it was 22 to 29 percent more effective to encourage them to “be a helper.” Cheating was cut in half when instead of, “Please don’t cheat,” participants were told, “Please don’t be a cheater.” When our actions become a reflection of our character, we lean more heavily toward the moral and generous choices. Over time it can become part of us.
Sophie snuck a jellybean out of my room and I told her that it wasn’t hers and she shouldn’t take things that aren’t hers and I didn’t want her eating candy but I let her have the one she had. Then I hear her run to my room and come back out with something in her hand so I asked to come to me and show me what was in her hand…another jellybean. So I said you went back and took something that wasn’t yours again right after I asked you not to and she’s like, ya! So she’s getting ready to eat it and I said, that’s not ok that’s a time out. So we did a short time out and when she got out I asked her if she understood why she got time out and if she was going to do it again and she smiles really big and says, ‘Ya! I love candy!’ and reaches for the jellybean again……